Chocolate Chip Buzz (by CK, Easy Rider Magazine, April 1980) What's this all about?" you ask. I dropped a hint a second ago- High Test Chocolate Chips. The name shouldn't make you think they are bike fuel. This is actually about cookies, chocolate chip type; but these cookies are fortified with your favorite herb, in a way that is not visible or tastable. It may strike you as a bit strange to find such a seemingly ordinary recipe in this rag. Usually we appeal to our readers' taste for the unusual, stuff like armadillo munchies, snake stew, or other semi-edible foods that crawl around in the desert. A recipe for good tasting food is not really out of line (except for some recipes for deadly beans or armadillos); after all, we all have to eat sometime. What's really in line with our tradition is a recipe that has some punch (knockout type) to it. So, read on while we tell you how to make our cookies, and what can happen when you do. The secret of this recipe is the butter. You have to prepare it before baking. First, get a big, clean pot and your favorite girlfriend. (You get her to bake the cookies after you get the butter ready, and she also helps keep you busy while your stove is on auto pilot.) The first thing you have to do is put a quart or two of water into the pot, cover it, and put it on the stove. Get the water boiling. While the water is heating up, get two sticks of butter (1/2 pound) and about an ounce of herb. Select a powerful herb for the best results. If you can't get a bunch of killer weed, try using more weak reefer. That way, you make up in volume what it lacks in strength. Use everything: stems, seeds, shake, and whatever else may come with your bag. (You should remove the oak leaves and poison ivy.) Shred the reefer, grind up the stems, and make it all into a uniformly powdery material. (If the reefer is ground up, it makes the transfer of the THC to the butter easier.) Once the water is boiling, turn the stove down to its lowest setting (simmer), and put the butter and reefer into the pot. (l know it hurts, but trust me.) Cover the pan and try to ignore it. Look in now and then just to make sure the water hasn't boiled away. Keep at least an inch or two of water in the pot at all times. If the water gets lower than that, add a little more. YOU don't want the butter or reefer to burn. The water keeps the temperature constant, and it also keeps things moving. There isn't much work to do during the simmering stage. That's why YOU'RE doing it. The hard work is Saved for the cooking stage (and your ol' lady.) Let the mess simmer for 12 to 24 hours. Your stove is on automatic pilot, so do anything you feel like. Put a shine on the Hog, maybe change its oil, or possibly lube your girlfriend. Your "soup" will be done tomorrow. Now here's your science lesson for the week: The THC in the reefer dissolves in the butter, but doesn't dissolve well in water. The stuff that gets you high comes out of the leaf and goes into the butter, and the chemicals that don't do good things for your head dissolve in the water. That way, the essence of goodness goes into the butter, and the bad stuff goes into the water. As the reefer cooks, you get a green (maybe brown) soup that looks like what a hangover feels like, and smells like six months on the road without a shower. It has been compared to what comes out of spittoons. So far it sounds like a waste of good butter, water and reefer, right? If you stop here, it is. Keep going, things get better. Get a large, clean bowl and a fine mesh strainer. (If you have some cheesecloth, use it to help strain the "soup.") put the bowl and strainer on a table or counter. Get the pot of green, ugly, nasty shit. Set its cover aside, and pour the soup through the strainer into the bowl. Collect all the foul brew in the bowl. Mash the reefer with the back of a spoon to get out all the liquid. The herb doesn't have the greatest taste, so try to avoid getting any of it into the bowl. Okay, now you have a bowl full of nasty-smelling stuff. Set it aside and go back to work at the stove. Put the reefer back into the pan with some fresh water. Boil the herb again for about 15 more minutes with the stove on high. Try to loosen up any butter that might be hanging on by stirring it up and whipping it around. Generally agitate it. Remember, a butter saved is a butter earned-or something like that. Pour the new water and the herb through the strainer into the big bowl and mash it out again. Throw the reefer away. (l just heard a chorus of "Throw the reefer away?" The answer to that question has to be "Yes." Have you ever tried to smoke buttered reefer? It doesn't burn well. If you are totally opposed to throwing useless reefer away, use it to bake brownies. "The "buttering" removes most of the THC, so they won't do much for you. It probably would not be worth the trouble.) Cover the bowl and put it into the refrigerator. While the soup cools, the butter rises to the surface and hardens. After several hours of cooling (depending on your bowl, refrigerator, and how often you look in on it), the butter will be hard enough to lift out of the water. Remember the saw about the "watched pot that never. . ."? The saying was never more appropriate than with reefer in butter. If you disturb the bowl while it's cooling, you will end up with butter sticking to the walls of it. That can be a royal pain in the ass. It's a lot better if you can remove the stuff in one or two big pieces. With the butter in pieces, lift them out, placing them in another bowl. Use the fine-mesh strainer to catch the tiny droplets of butter floating in the water, and use a spoon to scrape the bottom and sides. Some butter probably got stuck there when you poured the green shit into the bowl. Rescue as much of the butter as possible, and once you have all of it you can get, throw out the water. Put the butter back into your cooler for a few minutes to get it good and hard again. Once your butter is really hard, you will need to dry it off, because the water really tastes bad. If you want your cookies to taste good, the water has to go. Stack the butter in one side of the bowl. Tilt the bowl so that any water sticking to the butter will run off to the other side. (Hold the butter back With a spoon if necessary.) You don't have to pour the water out. Blot it up carefully with a paper towel. Don't leave any of the water (if you can avoid it), but don't waste any butter. The water contains the essence of bad taste and nastiness. (Sounds like Mutha, doesn't it?) The more water you remove, the better your cookies will taste. Your part is done. The butter is ready to go, so either turn this over to your ol' lady or get ready to bake. The cooking portion of the recipe: I like the good, old-fashioned Toll-House cookie recipe, you know, the one Grandma had. It's easy to use and makes tasty magic cookies. To make these the best magic cookies, you need to make a couple of minor changes to the original recipe to help disguise the spicy flavor. Two changes make the cookies taste better, and make the active ingredient hard to detect. First, the original recipe called for 3/4 cup white and 3/4 cup brown sugar. Swap some brown sugar for white sugar. I use 1 1/4 cups of the darkest brown sugar I can find, and only 1/4 cup of white sugar. The brown sugar helps cover the flavor your additive gave the butter. The darker brown sugar has more flavor, and does a better job of masking the taste. The second change is the use of raisins in place of the nuts in the original recipe- raisins make the cookie juicier, and do a good job of masking the pot flavor. If you make these changes, you won't be able to tell that there is anything unusual in the cookies. The Ingredients: 1/4 cup white sugar 1 1/4 cup brown sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 2 cups unsifted flour 2 eggs 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 12-oz. pkg. semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 Cup raisins 1/2 lb. fortified and approved butter Pre-heat the oven to 275-300 degrees. The original recipe called for 375 degrees, but drop this down below 300 to protect the THC content of the cookies. Mix the flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl. Set it aside. Mix the butter, sugars, and vanilla together until creamy. If the butter is fairly soft, it's easier. Beat in the hen fruit. Get the mixture smooth and creamy, then fold it into the first bowl. Mix it well. Then stir in the chocolate morsels and raisins. Now you are ready to bake cookies. Get out your cookie sheet. If you don't have cookie sheets, get out some skillets or something else that is flat and smooth and has heatproof handles. (Make sure the handles can be baked. You don't want to destroy the pan that feeds you.) Get two teaspoons. use them to make small balls of dough, and drop the balls about 1 1/2 inches apart on the sheet. The sheet should not be greased before cooking. When you have a sheet filled, put it into the oven. The original recipe says to bake them for 8-10 minutes. It should take a little longer because you have the temperature down some. Look in on them at five minutes to see how they are doing. They should be a little bit brown around the edges when they are done. Take the cookie sheet out of the oven and let everything cool for a few minutes. Then remove the cookies, and first put them on a rack to cool, then into a bowl. While you are cooking one bunch, you should be spooning up another to go in when the first ones come out. While they're cooling, don't put them on anything absorbent! They will lose butter that way. A Word of Warning! Don't eat a bunch of them while cooking! About an hour after eating them, you will lose track of what you are doing and may burn some and Cod help you if you get the munchies. It takes more than an hour to make the 100-plus you should get out of the recipe, and the last cookies will be strange if you eat too many. Then again, if you start off eating cookies, you won't care how they look. They taste too good. The taste is a problem, especially with someone who doesn't know where the high is coming from. It can lead to "The Vicious Circle of the Munchies." You eat some cookies, and an hour later the munchies arrive. That inspires you to eat more, and so on. It's like feedback from an amplifier, except a whole lot buzzier. Now: (1) What possible good can these cookies be? They are among the most expensive you can make (depending on the cost of your basic ingredients.) (2) Are the results worth the expense? (3) How many cookies does it take to get high? (4) How many cookies do you get from a batch? (5) What kind of high do you get from them? Let's answer the questions one at a time: (1) They do lots of good. They do more good when you use the primo stuff. I take them to the beach, and so on. I don't know of anyone who has been busted for possession of chocolate chips. (2) Yes. If you got 50 people stoned off one bag, you will get those same 50 (and probably more) stoned with cookies. Also, they will stay stoned longer with cookies. (3) Depends on how much there was of and how strong the original ingredient was. If you could get 20 joints out of the bag, and could get 20 people really stoned, you can expect that it will take 3-5 cookies to get zonked. If you could get 50 people really stoned on the bag, then 1 or 2 cookies will do. (4) Depends on your ol' lady, and how many she eats while cooking. If she makes 120, and eats 80 of them, two things happen: (a) You won't be able to get in the kitchen with her, because of her bulk, & (b) She won't be able to move for a while, a long while. The usual yield is around 100 two-inch cookies. I have gotten as many as 120 in one batch. (5) The high from cookies is different. It is a bit mellower, and lasts a long time. The high is not oppressive like the buzz from some primo Colombian can be. It is an open, happy high. It's normal to wake up stoned after eating them at night. After eating them, it takes about an hour to get up there, and the high can last from three to twelve hours or more, depending on what potency and how many you consumed. Try out the recipe. It's great for concerts, traveling, or surprises. It also will get you a completely different high. Bon appetit! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ----------------------------------- --)) ADDiTioNaL TeXT FoRMaTTiNG BY THC ((-- ----------------------------------- -- END OF FiLE --